what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
