Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
