If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
