at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
