I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
