so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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