you win again, gameday.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize