This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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