my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
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Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
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