Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
