woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
