I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize