Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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