I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
