Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
