I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just pynch a tree in the face
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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