Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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