Swine flu. Run for my life!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
