you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
