Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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