This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
