I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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