Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So gin and wine won't be happening again
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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