I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
