her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I still have a little drunk in my system
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
