You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
