just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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