Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
