I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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