I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
