theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
