we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
