mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
