i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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