Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
