its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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