at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
someone owes me an orgasm
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
