just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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