i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I came so hard my ears popped.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
