guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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