im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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