Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
then he tried to convert me to islam
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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