at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
