If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
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So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
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If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
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