Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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