i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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