So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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