I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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