I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
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I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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