where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
