i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
