we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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