Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
