Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
