You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
