he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
