His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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