Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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